Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses — Part II

Scientology OT VIII and IAS Premier Luminary Don Dissemination was in a cold sweat. He’d just robbed a bank at gunpoint and was fleeing the scene. As Don rounded the curve in the road, the police had set up a roadblock. Don, acting gangster style, threw his loaded 9mm out of the passenger window into the bushes.

The police pointed their weapons at Don’s head. Game over. Don threw his hands out the driver’s window and surrendered. The police dragged him out of his car, placed him face down on the pavement, cuffed and searched him. $185,000 in cash was in the bag Don had used to rob the bank

As a police woman looked in Don’s wallet she saw his IAS membership card stamped with “Premier Luminary” in gold leaf. “Why didn’t you tell us you were a Scientology Premier Luminary?” asked LAPD Sgt. Nancy Magneto.

“Let him go! He’s a Scientologist!” Sgt. Magneto told her officers. The LAPD officers began to laugh, uncuffed Don, and placed him back in his car. Officer Dag Diego handed Don his 9mm that he’d found in the bushes.

“Next time you do a bank job just let us know in advance. We’ll make sure we’re on the other side of town,” Sgt. Magneto chuckled.

“Thanks!” Don replied. With VGI’s and an F/N as he drove away, Don noted how all of his postulates to make a clean getaway worked today. This was because he kept KSW fully in.

5 responses to “Scientologist Don Dissemination Robs Banks to Pay for his Bridge & IAS Statuses — Part II

  1. Scientology is all about money, and as a bank robber who shares the loot with the crime ring that is the Church of Scientology, Don is an IDEAL scientologist!! Go Don — DM loves your money!!

    Like

  2. Nothing floats my needle like a good OT success story. Will this be featured in the next issue of Advance? Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Ack to Don.

    Like

    • IAS Premier Luminary Don Dissemination is a massive international success story whose story will be feature in ADVANCE, IMPACT, SOURCE and Scientology TV. Scientology ecclesiastical bank robberies are the new thing in town like Los Angeles where we own the cops.

      Like

  3. Making it go right…that’s what it’s all about. Don is one KSW mofo.

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    • Don’s one big bad KSW mofo. He has Ka Khan status — and just to prove it he squatted and took a hot steaming dump on the marble floor of the the NOTs lounge in the AO last week without penalty. Everyone clapped.

      Upstats are never punished in Scientology.

      Like

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