“The Church of Scientology today agreed to use its upper level technology to help Jesus defeat Satan once and for all,” announced spokesman Ken Delusion. “Our work to end the endless Manichaeism of failed Monotheism was done in exchange for all Christians signing up for Scientology courses. YHWH is expected to make a formal announcement this Saturday ordering all Christians to comply with his sovereign will. Accordingly, if you’re a Christian you will soon be receiving your ‘Welcome to Scientology’ kit at your home Church. We look forward to seeing you in our Ideal Orgs!”
List of Suppressive Persons:
- False Data Spreader
- Big Dick’s Scientology Success Affirmations
- Why Does Tom Cruise Keep Leaving Scientology and Coming Back?
- Mark C. Rathbun: OMG! The Martians Are After Me!
- Get the SP!
- RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis
- Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!
- Scientology: Buggery on the High Seas!
- Budget Drastically Slashed for L. Ron Hubbard’s 2018 Birthday Event
- Scientologist Joy Villa Wears a “Choose Fife” Dress to the Grammys
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