“The Church of Scientology today agreed to use its upper level technology to help Jesus defeat Satan once and for all,” announced spokesman Ken Delusion. “Our work to end the endless Manichaeism of failed Monotheism was done in exchange for all Christians signing up for Scientology courses. YHWH is expected to make a formal announcement this Saturday ordering all Christians to comply with his sovereign will. Accordingly, if you’re a Christian you will soon be receiving your ‘Welcome to Scientology’ kit at your home Church. We look forward to seeing you in our Ideal Orgs!”
List of Suppressive Persons:
Clouds Over Scientology
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- Scientology Outsources Part of Its Heavy Workload to the Catholic Church
- Scientology Sues to Keep St. Hill Sewage Flowing Freely into Streams!
- Scientology & North Korea: A Bright Future Ahead
- Meet a Scientologist: Thorsten Von Overgaard Handling Overpopulation by Selling Bags Made from Human Babies!
- Scientology TV Features World’s First OTX Completion!
- Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen Turns to Scientology for Help!
- The Church of Scientology is Looking for More Lawyers
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