Scientology agrees to help Jesus defeat Satan

“The Church of Scientology today agreed to use its upper level technology to help Jesus defeat Satan once and for all,” announced spokesman Ken Delusion. “Our work to end the endless Manichaeism of failed Monotheism was done in exchange for all Christians signing up for Scientology courses. YHWH is expected to make a formal announcement this Saturday ordering all Christians to comply with his sovereign will. Accordingly, if you’re a Christian you will soon be receiving your ‘Welcome to Scientology’ kit at your home Church. We look forward to seeing you in our Ideal Orgs!”

6 responses to “Scientology agrees to help Jesus defeat Satan

  1. Many people are of the opinion that David Miscavige IS Satan.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And Do Not Leave Home to show up for this amazing offer at your Ideal Org without cash, check, credit cards, debit cards and two copies of your will. Thank you OTVIIIisGrrr8. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Scientology should offer the Freewinds for the site of this show down. Tickets would be million dollars to watch in person on board and $10,000 for pay-per-view at your local Ideal Org. Food and beverages are not included with admission.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thank G-d I am Jewish!!!!


  5. Shocking how Miscavige will cause/allow the statement as above. Unless Christians are willing to accept Xenu as their Satan, unlikely they will get any “we shall overcome.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Scientology founder had said in a speech that his ideas were taken from ancient vedic literatures.

    Liked by 1 person

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