“The Church of Scientology today agreed to use its upper level technology to help Jesus defeat Satan once and for all,” announced spokesman Ken Delusion. “Our work to end the endless Manichaeism of failed Monotheism was done in exchange for all Christians signing up for Scientology courses. YHWH is expected to make a formal announcement this Saturday ordering all Christians to comply with his sovereign will. Accordingly, if you’re a Christian you will soon be receiving your ‘Welcome to Scientology’ kit at your home Church. We look forward to seeing you in our Ideal Orgs!”
List of Suppressive Persons:
Clouds Over Scientology
- Flag C/S: Handling David Miscavige Engrams
- Do Not Murder Your Friends or Family
- Psychiatrist Caught Trying to Smuggle New Top Secret E-Meter Out of Scientology Org!
- Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology
- Scientology: Now Hiring Really Bad Elvis Impersonators as Fundraisers!
- Mark Zuckerberg Apologizes to Scientology; Promises to Delete all Entheta on Scientology from Facebook
- Scientology Leader David Miscavige Comments on Tom Cruise’s New Movie Mission Impossible Fallout
- Facebook Stock Price Hammered Due to Its Attacks on Scientology!
- US Federal Judge James Whittemore Approves of Scientology’s Use of the Guillotine to Behead SP’s
- Scientology Warning: Marijuana Was Created Eons Ago by Alien Botanical Psychiatrists! Don’t Use Xenu’s Weed!
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