Tag Archives: Christians

The Faith Tones to Appear at Scientology Fundraiser

The Christian songstress trio The Faith Tones will be appearing this weekend at Flag’s annual fundraiser for COB’s birthday present. Their appearance at Flag proves that we in Scientology are very Christian. We are also very Muslim.

The fact is that we in Scientology have a cloying willingness to ingratiate ourselves with all kinds of groups. We do this in order to trick the Wog World into believing that we’re just like everyone else. Sure, we in Scientology are just normal people. Except we have all the answers and know the secrets of the universe!

Scientology agrees to help Jesus defeat Satan

“The Church of Scientology today agreed to use its upper level technology to help Jesus defeat Satan once and for all,” announced spokesman Ken Delusion. “Our work to end the endless Manichaeism of failed Monotheism was done in exchange for all Christians signing up for Scientology courses. YHWH is expected to make a formal announcement this Saturday ordering all Christians to comply with his sovereign will. Accordingly, if you’re a Christian you will soon be receiving your ‘Welcome to Scientology’ kit at your home Church. We look forward to seeing you in our Ideal Orgs!”