The American Brahmans of SP’s: Lawrence Wright and Alex Gibney were just spotted together outside of Scientology’s Washington DC National Affairs Office!
We in RTC looked on our giant wall map of global domination and noted that these two SP Supremos were shockingly close to the IRS National Headquarters. Surely there is some diabolical plot afoot!
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has declared a global Scientology emergency. All Scientologists living on the Eastern seaboard of the US are to immediately evacuate to the emergency shelters in Trementina, New Mexico until further notice.
Those Scientologists living west of the Rockies are ordered confined to their homes. All doors are to be locked and window shades drawn. All televisions, computers, cellphones, and any other devices capable of accessing the internet, television, or radio signal are to be unplugged and locked away in closets; this to prevent any possible exposure to potential entheta.