Threat Letter from Church Attorney Bart Dixslurper, Esq


Date: 1 Feb 2016
To: The Internet
From: Bart Dixslurper, Esq.
Re: OT Documents and Criminal J&D

Dear Internet,

We have been retained as counsel by the Religious Technology Center (RTC), the holder of Scientology trademarks and copyrights.

As the holder of Scientology’s confidential OT materials, it has come to RTC’s attention that you, the internet, have OT materials — which became public documents in a lawsuit — available for download at various websites which include, but are not limited to, here, here, and here.

RTC has learned that you, the internet, have co-conspired with other internets to post these secret OT materials online in order to invade the privacy of Flag Land Base and the MV Freewinds.

These OT materials have been used to make money on the cartoon television show  South Park and in fake documentaries such as Going Clear. This has been done to engage in Joking & Degrading about Scientology in the most cavalier fashion. Your disgraceful acts, and those of your conspirators prove, however, that you are not capable of being ashamed.

Let me make it clear and present your options in simple terms. If you do not immediately cease and desist your efforts to Joke & Degrade about Scientology’s OT levels and my client Captain David Miscavige with your idiotic and juvenile antics, we shall proceed with swift and sure legal action preventing your egregious misconduct and seeking compensatory and punitive damages for the humiliation and intentional infliction of emotional distress your tortious acts have cause and will cause Mr. Miscavige and all of Scientology.

Please confirm no later than 5 PM PST on February 4, 2016 that you and all other co-conspiring internets will remove RTC’s OT levels and J&D about Mr. Miscavige and cease and desist from your lawless behavior.

All rights are reserved.


Bart Dixslurper, Esq.

7 replies »

    • Don’t be fooled people of Russia…Jim Mathers is only providing hardbound copies of Alice in Wonderland translated to Russian. Whether this constitutes OT secrets, you can divine for yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m not sure this letter pertains to me, but if I’ve ever made Capt. Miscavige cry, I’m truly sorry. He’s done very well for himself, considering he’s a high school drop out. He’s the one guy who can pull off the midget in a fake sailor uniform look and not look completely ridiculous.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Captain David ” let him die” Miscavige demands the internet to shape up and make it go right. Well that’s a plan sure enough. Dave why don’t you send Tom Cruise to beat up the internet????

    Liked by 1 person

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