GRANT CARDONE OPENS CARDONE 10X LIVING ON A MARTIAN IMPLANT STATION

Luxury Amenities, Trillion-Dollar Mindset, Eternal Entrapment — Prices Starting at $2.5M Per Unit

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

TEEGEEACK SECTOR / MARS APPROACH CORRIDOR — Grant Cardone, OT VIII, Cardone Capital founder, and the galaxy’s foremost authority on being the galaxy’s foremost authority, has announced the grand opening of Cardone 10X Living, the first luxury residential development purpose-built inside a Marcabian Implant Station in geostationary orbit above Mars.

“Average people live on average planets,” said Cardone at the ribbon-cutting, which was attended by 847 Registrars, four Sea Org Commanding Officers, and a luminescent theta being who had not yet been told it was dead. “I don’t build for average. I build for the 10X thetan — the being who refuses to be implanted below their income level.”

ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENT

Cardone 10X Living occupies 144 floors of a refurbished Between-Lives Area originally constructed by the Marcabians during the Third Invader Force’s administrative period. The station had been operating continuously for 76 million years, primarily as a memory-erasure facility, before Cardone Capital acquired it out of receivership in a Reg A+ offering last fiscal quarter.

According to the offering memorandum, the station’s existing theta-capture technology has been “repurposed as a state-of-the-art resident retention system,” ensuring occupancy rates that competitors in the physical universe cannot match.

“Once you move in,” Cardone told investors, “you stay in. That’s a cap rate other developers can only dream about.”

AMENITIES

Cardone 10X Living offers an unparalleled array of lifestyle features, including:

— The Zenu Rooftop Infinity Experience: An open-air observation deck offering panoramic views of the hydrogen bomb disposal corridor. Complimentary cocktails served by between-lives attendants who will also remind you that you owe $340,000 in IAS donations from your last seventeen lifetimes.

— The 10X Implant Spa: Described in the brochure as “not really a spa in the traditional sense.” Guests emerge refreshed, compliant, and with no memory of having owned property elsewhere. Management notes this “simplifies the closing process considerably.”

— Grant Cardone’s Drop-In Mindset Immolation Sessions: Three times weekly, Cardone delivers live motivational content directly into residents’ reactive minds via theta projector. Topics include Why Your Engrams Are Keeping You Poor, Be Obsessed or Be Forgotten (You Will Be Forgotten Either Way, That’s the Product), and Scale Your Overts: How I Turned a Suppressive Person Declare Into a Seven-Figure Brand Extension.

— Cardone University — Galactic Campus: Full curriculum available, including the flagship course Real Estate Investing for Thetans Who Keep Forgetting They Own Real Estate Because They Keep Getting Implanted. CE credits applicable in thirty-two star systems.

— On-Site E-Meter Concierge: Available 24 hours. The meter cannot leave the property. Neither can you.

A WORD ON PRICING

Units begin at $2.5 million for a studio (described in disclosure documents as a “memory containment suite”) and scale to $47 million for the Penthouse Implant Collection, which features floor-to-ceiling views of the Galactic Confederation remnant cloud, a chef’s kitchen, and what the brochure calls a “bespoke between-lives butler experience.”

Cardone addressed affordability concerns directly at the ribbon-cutting: “If you think $2.5 million is expensive, you’ve been implanted to think small. That’s exactly why you need to be here. We can fix that. We will fix that. We already fixed it — you signed the docs three lifetimes ago.”

Investors in Cardone Capital’s Galactic Fund IV are entitled to priority unit selection. The fund is structured as a Delaware LLC, registered additionally in the Helatrobus system for tax optimization purposes. The IAS has been named as a co-general partner.

A NOTE FROM ECCLESIASTICAL LEADERSHIP

The Church of Scientology has issued a statement confirming that residence at Cardone 10X Living “may count toward select IAS status levels, subject to a separate schedule of donations.” The Church further notes that the Between-Lives Area has been declared an Ideal Org, pending the installation of a suitable bust of L. Ron Hubbard in the implant antechamber.

The bust will cost $1.2 million. Residents are expected to contribute.

WHAT RESIDENTS ARE SAYING

“I don’t remember agreeing to any of this, but Grant says that’s proof it’s working.” — Current Resident, Unit 666, Floor 33

“I came for the rooftop. I cannot find the exit. The amenities are excellent.” — Prospective Resident, Still in the Sales Cycle

“This is the greatest real estate opportunity in the history of this or any adjacent universe. Also, I have been here since the Piltdown period and my storage unit on Earth is past due.” — Longtime Resident, Cardone 10X Living Gold Circle Member

Cardone 10X Living is not affiliated with NASA, the Galactic Confederation, or any currently solvent Between-Lives Area management company. Investment in Cardone Capital funds involves risk, including the risk of total loss of capital, eternal entrapment on a prison planet, and mandatory attendance at Grant Cardone’s birthday celebration, which lasts eleven days and requires a $50,000 minimum investment to attend the after-party. Past performance in this or any prior lifetime is not indicative of future results. Securities offered through Cardone Capital LLC of Mars.