Criminal defense attorney Philip Cohen declared today that his client David Miscavige was in Russia with his friend Vladmir Putin when $30 million in cash was stolen from a Los Angeles storage facility.

“Mr. Miscavige was in Moscow discussing money laundering arrangements between Russian aluminum companies and Scientology organizations in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and Serbia,” Cohen insisted.

“Scientology is the most ethical group on the planet,” Cohen asserted. “As such, Scientology would never engage in a highly planned, brazen, and premeditated organized crime such as this theft of $30 million in untraceable American cash.”

“If anything, Scientology is so overwhelmed by livestreamers enturbulating its organizations that OSA has been calling LAPD every two minutes all day and night long for the past three months! Scientology has no time to plan and execute paramilitary type of precision crimes when it is the victim of SP criminal livestreamers!”