I keep a giant Coke vending machine in my bedroom. Per contract, I must keep this vending machine stocked at all times.There is Coke, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Sprite, and other popular flavors.
I cannot get out of the contract for the Coke vending machine because my fellow OT Steve Strange — the same fellow who sold me 900 sets of the Basics and assured me I could resell them for an enormous profit — will not let me out of the contract.
I really thought I would be able to place the Coke vending machine at my local mall and make $100,000+ per year. But then I discovered after I signed the contract that Steve Strange had lied to me: The local mall is private property and not public property. I cannot sue Steve Strange and must instead submit to an expensive WISE arbitration that is far more expensive than the five year contract for the machine.
I have tried repeatedly to place my Coke vending machine elsewhere but nobody here in Clearwater wants it. There are already too many Coke machines here. Because my garage and living room are filled with sets of the Basics, the only remaining room I had for the Coke machine was my bedroom. I drink plenty of soft drinks these days in order to keep up with the contract. If you will buy a set of the Basics from me I will give you one free month’s worth of soft drinks.
My problem is that there is a ghost in my Coke machine that does annoying things. The ghost leaves marks on the glass and howls at night when I am trying to sleep — and it is already hard to sleep because the light from the Coke machine is excessively bright.
What can I do?
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
Coca Cola is one of the great American brands that the planet still wants. Couldn’t you entice foreigners to come to America and live and work in your bedroom, purchase Coke and your surplus Basics? I might suggest that you keep their passports until the machine is empty and all the books are sold.
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Call Dr. Pepper and he’ll remove the Sprite in a Snapple. If you get 7-up in there later then a Fruit Punch will Crush them all like a Red Tornado. All will be Schweppes clean and Fresca again.
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It’s not a ghost – it’s a thirsty body thetan! You need to do OT 3 & 4, available for free on the Internet, to get rid of this sugar-addicted thetan!
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I have a suggestion. Turn it into a Gun Safe.
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1. Connect the coke machine to an e-meter that has been rigged with enough of a charge to destroy the coke machine and blow the ghost.
2. Dig up the crimes OT Steve, the real blood, lurid sex stuff. Crimes he can be prosecuted and sent to jail for. If you can’t find any that just means he has hidden them well and you’ll just have to make some up. Then send an agent to have lunch with Steve to talk about letting you out of the contract. During the course of lunch, let him know that you know about these crimes and it would be a shame if anyone were to find out. It’s not blackmail because you’re not asking for any money.
No need to thank me.
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Chuck Euphoria says, “While there is no need to thank Kuato Lives, I still want to thank him for giving me the EXACT HATTING on how to handle that asshole Steve Strange!”
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