Where is Captain David Miscavige’s wife Shelly Miscavige?

“Where is Captain David Miscavige’s missing wife Shelly Miscavige?


Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman

“This is a question no one is allowed to ask upon pain of death,” declared Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO of Ethics and Image.

“If Captain David Miscavige has locked up his wife in a Scientology religious prison  in order to engage in an adulterous extramarital affair with Laurisse Henley-Smith (formerly Stuckenbrock) why then that is Captain Miscavige’s business. Rank has its privileges.”

“Frankly,” Comrade Dr. Wonderman stated, “The fate of Mrs. David Miscavige is of no importance to we in the Church of Scientology. Also unimportant is the fact that the unlamented Mary Sue Hubbard served hard time in prison for felonies ordered by her husband the Founder. The fact is that the wives our leaders become liabilities. These women are therefore placed under house arrest in permanent exile.”

TSAR.DAVE“What is of infinite importance is that Captain David Miscavige is not deposed in Texas as this could, conceivably, lead to dire legal consequences for both Captain Miscavige and the Church.”

“Whereupon, it becomes evident that we in the Church of Scientology can never hold press conferences as very difficult questions would be raised.  We cannot possibly withstand the scrutiny.”

“However, we are willing to engage in laughably impotent flame wars via e-mail. That is how small our Captain David Miscavige has become as he claws to retain control amidst disaffection, plunging statistics, and the meltdown of his own personality and legacy.”

Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!

10 replies »

  1. I had never heard of this Shelly person, before and I am sure I will never hear of her again.

    I didn’t think Mary Sue was ever actually married to L Ron Hubbard. I thought she was planted by the FBI in the late 60s using faked photos of her and Ron. Since L Ron Hubbard was completely and utterly uninvolved in running Scientology after 1966, he would have had no way of knowing that some woman claiming to be his wife had assumed an important position within COS.

    She would not be the first person to falsely claim to be Mrs. Hubbard. During the late 40s and early 50s, a Communist-Nazi agent named Sara had made similar dishonest claims of matrimony to Source.


    • We in RTC can see why you are a Doctor, Dr_Orpheus. Your thinking is very scientific, logical, precise, and correct in all ways.

      We are pleased to invite you to join Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman’s vital Committee for Clear Thinking.

      The CFCT meets in the Great Hall of Exact Data each evening at 7:00 PM for discussions. Free pie, cake, and pizza is served before, during, and after the meetings.


  2. Shelly has been busy performing her marital duties which has obviously become a fulltime job. Any good wife of an ecclesiastical leader is dutifully obliged to full time “skid mark” removal just as any good ecclesiastical leader shits his pants on a daily dose of entheta from his enemies.


  3. I have it on good authority that Shelly is enjoying her new job polishing the titanium tablets for the tech preservation project while Laurisse has taken over polishing COB’s knob.


  4. Now, now, now, WHO says David Miscavige has become small? Upon looking at his picture with all the recommandations downloading his chest, I think it is obvious to anyone that he is a very BIG and indeed a very powerful and mighty World Leader!!!

    And as Dr_Orpheus states above, WHO is this selfcentered Shelly person anyways? She is a nobody, who is continually trying to distract COB´s attention away from his very important mission of singlehandedly saving the entire sector of this universe from evil psychs with Scientology – the success of which the whole agonizing future of every man, woman and child depends! And yes, that includes the future of YOU and me!

    To anyone busying themselves with Shelly, when everyone knows COB´s legal wife is Laurisse Stuckenbrock, I say: Something is out of proportion here! You need to get your priorities straight!

    We all need to STAND TALL – NOW! And provide our COB with as distractionfree an environment as possible, while donating EVERYTHING we own to this important cause!!!

    There can be NO other way!!!


  5. Sarah James
    I think this question was answered above by Scientology 411: “Shelly is enjoying her new job polishing the titanium tablets for the tech preservation project.”

    As you probably know, immediately after LRH finally died, DM started creating a number of bases for tech preservation – I think around six bases have been built up to now. Each base has its own private, concrete airstrip. Like wise each base has two enormous Scientology circles, just like the ones on a pack of KOOL, LRH´s favourite brand of cigarettes, carved into the mountain side and distinguishable only from an aerial view. These symbols mark a “return point” for Hubbard and scientologists, when they travel here in the future from other places in the universe looking for Scientology. Moreover COB has seen to it that each base has a multi million $$$$$ over the top, luxurious mansion that LRH can move straight into and call his home, once he returns from outer space and resumes command of Scientology again. – This just goes to show how selfless COB´s dedication to Scientology and LRH is!!!

    The object of these bases, of course, is to preserve the tech for all eternity. Therefore, vaults have been built deep down in the ground, consisting of a vast network of underground tunnels for the storage of the tech.

    For 30 some years now, COB has worked tirelessly and might I add singlehandedly at editing and rewriting the entire body of LRH´s work, making it all completely on source and exactly like LRH wanted it.- Most of what LRH left behind, as we all know, was completely incomprehensible! It was just a mess! The blind leading the blind!

    Thanks to COB EVERYTHING is now fully restored, ready to be engraved on stainless steel tablets and encased in titanium capsules to be stored forever in these underground vaults, together with the new 50,000 times more precise e-meters that COB also recently developed. These vaults are so secure, they can withstand a nuclear attack.

    Nobody really knows exactly WHO or WHAT is being stored in these underground vaults, as it is all very secret – but the importance of the projects cannot be underestimated!

    As can easily be understood, these necessary projects have cost, and are still costing hundreds if not thousands of millions of $$$$$$$. Therefore YOUR donations are needed NOW more than ever!!!


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