COB:

As we gather here beneath the crystal chandeliers and the radiant aura of fifteen hundred thousand gleaming LED lights to celebrate the dawning of what will henceforth be known throughout all universes as The Golden Age of Admin, we recognize that while lesser civilizations required centuries to erect their crude technologies of confusion which depended upon psychiatric drugs and income taxes, we, the most ethical and statistically exact beings in any time stream, have achieved in mere decades a monument not of stone but of routing forms, contracts of adhesion, and an edifice of paperwork so luminous that even the Galactic Bureau of Records must shield its eyes from the brilliance of our correctly filed carbon copies which declares that yes, we in the Church of Scientology now stand at the dawn of the next great evolution of the Tech, and more to the point by way of highlighting and illuminating the tremendous responsibility we have to the billions of Scientologists who will walk through these doors to experience what it truly feels like to be oily and used and spent upon curious religious appliances, which is to say what Scientology is and does by way of amplifying the all embracive nature of Planetary Clearing whether it be inside a school bus in Belize, a boardroom in Brussels, or a brothel in Bombay, yes, you can be 100% certain that The Golden Age of Admin will form another spoke in wheel of Planetary Clearing, a wheel of iron ethics that will locate and crush Suppression under its unstoppable momentum that is underpinned by the 100% Standard Ethics which has now restored thousands of hours of blinkless TR’s which endlessly gaze upon The Way to Happiness, a book of nonreligious morality that has been read, clay-demoed, and word cleared by countless billions of people spanning the globe and this is why crime is down globally and literacy is skyrocketing in lands written off long ago by the Psychs as backward swamps of despair fit only to be bombed with Psych drugs funded by UN aid dollars behind which sat a cabal of British bankers bent on global destruction using the false promises of “feel good” chemicals to create a New World Order of slavery and drones that fly around and kill people based on their microexpressions, which said microexpressions are a just another product line extension of the deadly Psych treatise known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a work full of invented mental illnesses that not only do not exist but in fact serve as a template of chemical slavery fueled by the greed of Big Pharma and its hidden connections to Interpol, the CIA, SMERSH, and finally, yes, the R6 bank itself which has kept this planet in thrall for the past seventy-five millions years and which is why we in the Church of Scientology have the only effective way out of this seventy-five million year old trap, a way out that is as precise as Einstein and as effective as oxygen and this is why we know that every Scientologist everywhere stands for Freedom, which is to say that the Church of Scientology is populated by a very special people, indeed we are a race of inordinately strange supernatural beings who, while we are looked upon with shock and horror by the Wog world, we are nevertheless New Civilization Builders, which is to say that Disconnection not only exists, but so do a multitude of opulently and eerily vacant buildings that we have consecrated as a collective ghost town and yes, we speak of the Ideal Orgs the premise of which is to house the purported technical revolution known as the Golden Age of Tech Phase II but, as the soaring and implicitly guaranteed failure of GAT II is a fait accompli before the ink is even dry on the course packs, it thereupon becomes self-evident that the entire subjecture of GAT II is a three needle-swing failure wrapped in bacon, we nevertheless perpetuate the charade because thetans love a mystery sandwich, but more importantly GAT II is hurtling toward us like an out of control Venutian freight locomotive and, by way of announcing that the future is here now, yes, it becomes as certain as gravity that the Church of Scientology doesn’t just talk Planetary Clearing but we make it a reality every day in the 15,901 nations of this world located on fifteen continents and that is why, by way of summarizing in order to conclude, it is, at least on paper, straight up and vertical expansion on a rocket ride into the epicenter of planetary salvage that begins with the donation you make to the IAS today to make GAT II and the Ideal Orgs a reality written in concrete, steel, and fine flooring materials tastefully accented with the florid beauty of fresh flowers, crystal chandeliers, and fully outfitted with a bounty of the new course rooms and auditing rooms necessary to deliver 100% standard Tech in a theta environment that makes it all seem that Source is right there in the room with you inviting you to join the Sea Org and help transform this planet into a Scientology Utopia and that is why I say, ‘Welcome to your Eternity is which OTIX and OTX will be released in eleventy billion light years, or sooner, if Ron ever gets up off his ass and comes back from Target 2 where he has been AWOL for a long time and still owes we in RTC hundreds of billions of dollars in royalties which is probably why he is staying on T2 forever because he cannot pay and lost money on bad oil well and gold investments like he did here on Teegeeack in the 1970’s and 1980’s and I had to make up Ron’s losses and that is why I sold Scientologists the latest technical rundown which was something about, if I recall, postulating postulates that really stick like the cement that is holding in my dentures and, b7 the way, a shout out to Tom Cruise there in the front row and, make no mistake about it, Tom Cruise is the most dedicated Scientologist in the world next to me because I have to do all of the flap handlings and ethics and legal and everything else, but I do it all for each and everyone of you, except for the downstats and theetie wheetie dillentantes who are not here tonight because they went PTS to the middle class and complained about the high price of last minute air fares and so we in RTC have put them into 50,000 years of lower conditions!