Declaring that Scientology needs a facelift, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has decreed that the Church will adopt a 1970’s Disco look.

Leading by example, David Miscavige appeared yesterday at the Boston Org sporting a daring caucasian afro and bold nautical shoulder epaulettes.

New Sea Org Disco uniforms are being made at Gold Base by the internees there as a form of repentance for their many crimes against Scientology.

“Disco lives!” declared Mr. Miscavige.