“Following Donald Trump’s shockingly poor debate performance, panicked Republicans voted to replace Trump/Vance with Scientology’s proven ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige and Tom Cruise,” announced Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.
“Scientology’s internal polling shows that 97% of Americans everywhere support a Miscavige-Cruise ticket,” Delusion noted.
“What America needs is a Scientology President and Scientology Ethics applied 100% standardly,” Delusion commented. “Scientology will handle all of America’s problems as we are the experts on the mind, on getting people off drugs, literacy programs, and using The Way to Happiness to end wars and eradicate those suppressive personalities who make this prison planet a living hell!”
Categories: David Miscavige
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
In reality; i have no doubt that the repub party would love to replace drumpf
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Mr. Capt’n COB RTC David ‘Commander in Chief’ Miscavige is certainly a great public speaker and debater. He also does a mean interview. He can easily handle the Suppressive elements that make up the majority of the press corps by slamming Scientology Ethics in ruthlessly. If it weren’t for the demands put on him by his adoring parishioners, he would certainly be more than willing to take on ‘Terrible’ Ted Koppel once again and put him in his place. And as an aside, I think Shelly ‘Who’ Miscavige would make a fine First Lady. She would surely be the one to help Mr. Cruise find a suitable Second Lady to round out the leadership team.
I wonder if the cabinet would consist of seasoned Sea Organization members who are tirelessly working to save this sector of the gu-lax-ee? Warren, Heber, Wendell, Guillaume, Karen and others would surely be able to take a short break from their billion year contracts to serve.
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