Senator Ted Cruz Does Scientology; Finds His Past Life Identity


Presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz purchased five 12.5 hour intensives of Scientology auditing to help him handle the enturbulation and entheta of the presidential election. Senator Cruz additionally needed to handle the many vicious Donald Trump engrams that are holding him back in life and livingness.

While his auditor was running a standard List 1C, Senator Cruz suddenly went exterior and cognited that he had been Bela Lugosi in past life.

“It all makes sense to me,” said Cruz. “When I was Bela Lugosi I died in 1956. After spending fourteen years trapped in the between lives area implanting stations, I escaped and picked up the body of Ted Cruz in 1970.”

“This session blew a lot of charge for me,” Senator Cruz wrote in his success story. “For example, I finally understand why I’m still dramatizing the wholetrack R6 Christian implant just like I did in Plan 9 from Outer Space. Factually, however, this particular implant really works for me in getting money and votes so I don’t plan to run it out in session. After all, a person can be a Scientologist and a Christian.”



3 replies »

    • You must mean that last lifetime the thetan who was being Bela Lugosi was being Jewish. However, as Bela Lugosi was in Hollywood he did hear of and know about Scientology. We know this because Bela Lugosi took a Communications course in 1954. We still mail him Scientology magazines even though he’s been dead for 59 years.

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