Captain David Miscavige’s personal Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu declared the impending solar eclipse to be a message from L. Ron Hubbard on Target 2.

“The solar eclipse is a sign form SOURCE!,” Jyotisha-Vastu insisted during a Scientology fundraiser for David Miscavige’s mounting legal fees.

“SOURCE is telling all Scientologists that there are hard times coming for the Church but that this ‘time of testing’ will be followed by good times for the Church.”

“The entheta, lawsuits, Sea Org members blowing, and the statcrashes — it is all a purification phase.”

“These present hard times will be followed by good times, by highest ever straight up and vertical expansion as the world has never seen!”