The Scientology E-Metermobile Is Coming to Your City!
“The Church of Scientology E-Metermobile is coming to your city soon!” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Captain Miscavige and OT Tom Cruise will kickoff the 200 city E-Metermobile Scientology Goodwill Ambassador tour […]
Church of Scientology Leader & Tom Cruise to Lead Super Bowl Halftime Festivities!
“Church of Scientology global ecclesiastical leader Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and celebrity Tom Cruise will lead the Super Bowl halftime festivities,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These are the two most dedicated […]
We in the Church of Scientology Are Very Bitter!
“We in the Church of Scientology are very bitter about everything, about how unfair life is, and about how things have never quite gone our way.” And with those words Scientology leader […]
COB RTC David Miscavige names Tom Cruise “World’s First Clear!”
Vowing to “never let a woman keep us apart again” COB RTC David Miscavige reunited with his best friend this evening during the IAS ceremony at East Grinstead, Sussex. And as if […]
Scientologist Juliette Lewis Uses Psych-Funded Media to Attack Psych-Funded Media
Scientology OT Juliette Lewis today used Psych-funded media to attack Psych-funded media. Speaking to The Daily Beast, a publication wholly owned and controlled by the Psychs, Juliette Lewis revealed what actually happened […]
Church of Scientology Raising Money to Help Find Missing Maylasian Airliner
“We in the Church of Scientology are raising money on an emergency basis to send our Volunteer Ministers to assist in the search for missing Malaysian Air flight 370,” announced RTC senior […]
Wedding Bells to Ring Again for Scientologist Tom Cruise!
COB RTC David Miscavige is personally managing the courtship and marriage of Scientologists Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon. “Mr. Miscavige has a proven record of success handling the 2D, or marriages, of […]
Super Fighter Tom Cruise Saves the Church of Scientology from Psychiatry!
We in the Church of Scientology wish to clear up a misconception in the media: Tom’s Cruise’s main job is not acting; he only acts to pay the bills. No, Tom Cruise’s […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Declares France a Suppressive Nation!
We in RTC received the news that the Wog High Court of France has found the Church of Scientology guilty of fraud. We were not surprised as France is quite insane and […]