To allay any concerns on the part of the 4.2 billion Church of Scientology parishioners that Tom Cruise might be leaving the Church, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige ordered New OT VII Tom […]
Scientology’s Plans for the Nation of Islam
We in RTC greet you in the name of the Honorable COB RTC David Miscavige, the Beneficent. All praise be due unto COB. Regarding the Nation of Islam, we in RTC already […]
North Korea Obliterates an SP
We in RTC salute Kim Jong-un, the new COB of North Korea for obliterating a Suppressive Person: As reported in The Telegraph, the SP was found guilty of Joking and Degrading: “Kim […]
Your Donations Are Urgently Needed!
COB RTC David Miscavige is a BIG BEING. COB works to save the planet and its inhabitants from ruin and destruction every minute of every day. $160,000,000 in donations are urgently needed […]
Scientology Announces Its One Billionth Clear!
We in RTC are pleased to announce that the Church of Scientology has made its one billionth Clear! Her name is Sarah Palin and she is the former Governor of Alaska. We […]
Warning to all Church Members!!!
We in RTC are issuing this public warning to all members of the Church of Scientology: WOGS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED WALKING ON LRH WAY IN HOLLYWOOD! We in RTC ordered OSA to […]
The Burger King Becomes a Scientologist!
Over fifty thousand Scientologists gathered this weekend at St. Hill for the annual IAS convention. The big news of the weekend at St. Hill was of course the announcement that the internationally […]
Texas SP’s Pull It In: Big Tex Goes Up in Flames!
It is no secret that the insane Nation of Texas hates the Church of Scientology because the Church is in every way better than Texas. We in the Church have the Tech […]
Public Notice: Church of Scientology to Outlaw the Internet
Scientology Pope David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology, “Is taking the serious and necessary action of outlawing the internet in order to protect Scientology and all other religions from […]
Scientology Singles in Search of Romance!
We in RTC receive far too many Knowledge Reports from lonely single Scientologists whining about just how bad the dating scene is for them out there. It seems that it is very […]