“The IAS is gripped by a dual disaster,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “First, there is a vast oversupply of IAS status trophies. Indeed, IAS warehouses are holding a projected twenty-five year […]
His Imperial Holiness and Grand Dragon of the Seven Spheres David Miscavige has ordered Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly to appear at Scientology’s Flag Land Base for a major ethics handling. “Donald […]
In Top Gun II, Maverick has a secret: How does the aging OT jet jockey keep the flight surgeon from finding out he has a very bad case of hemorrhoids? And how […]
Introduction to the Scientology Knowledge Report Issued by Captain Holotta Delusion, Inspector General Ethics, Religious Technology Center The Knowledge Report (KR) is designed to protect you and other Scientologists from receiving any […]
“What are the real facts about the Church of Scientology and computer hacking?” asked Dr. Frank Wonderman today during a special meeting to address recent scandalous allegations. “The facts are these: When […]
“1962. Except for a few Commies who had been sent in to cause trouble, everything was A-OK with Scientology. “Back then we all smoked Kools and drove great big ol’ Chrysler’s just […]
— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED SP TORONTO CONFERENCE BY A DESIGNATED SP AUTHORITY— We in RTC have declared the SP Toronto Conference, or conclave, or whatever it is […]
“Enormous amounts of present time masturbatory activities prevent the Church of Scientology from attaining forward progress,” declared WDC Chairman Dr. Frank Wonderman. “Instead of clearing the planet, public Scientologists are engaged in […]
We in the Church of Scientology are calling for an end to the madness of the internet and its incessant attacks upon religion, decency, and morality. We in Scientology long for a […]
Scientology OT and billionaire Bob Duggan has the Midas touch. Having just made $3.55 billion dollars selling his pharmaceutical company Pharmacyclics to a wog drug company, Duggan realized just how much money […]
