With the Church of Scientology’s income having crashed to minus zero, Church leader David Miscavige ordered all Scientologists in America out on the streets. “The job of all Scientologists is to body […]
Q: How does a Psych capture a mighty thetan like Tom Cruise? A: Space Secret Psych Implanter Elon Musk has lured Tom Cruise into a trap by offering him a ride into […]
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige received a $5 million dollar solid gold toilet from the Sea Org as an acknowledgement of all that he has done for the Church of Scientology. Mr. […]
US Navy F-18 Super Hornets tracked a mysterious UFO recently. A follow up investigation determined that the aerial vehicle was Scientology leader David Miscavige fleeing the service of subpoena in several cases […]
With Kim Jong Un dead or nearly dead as reported, Scientology Chairman David Miscavige today announced that he is ready to take over North Korea. “My decades of leading Scientologists into crushing […]
“The UN has hired Mr. David Miscavige to solve the world’s economic disaster,” said Scientology spokesperson Ken Delusion. “Mr. Miscavige has outlined his seven point plan using LRH business technology to implement […]
Sporting a new Donald Trump coiffure and 30 extra pounds from “shelter in place” binge eating while watching Netflix, Scientology leader David Miscavige announced today that he is asking the US Federal […]
Visibly shaken and enraged by Mark Bunker’s win in Clearwater, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige went live today on Scientology TV to berate all Floridian Scientologists for being theetie-wheetie dilettantes who allowed this […]
“Scientology has no plans to close its Orgs,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “There is no need to close them because the Orgs have already been empty for almost twenty years now.” “Now […]
As Tom Cruise taught us, Scientologists are the only ones who can help. Scientologists are also the only people who can shatter suppression and handle SP’s. Even as Dr. Kirstie Alley is […]
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