Upon learning that a janitor found $600,000 in cash and checks hidden inside a bathroom wall in Joel Osteen’s church, Scientology leader David Miscavige has ordered all bathroom walls in Scientology ripped […]
“How the f*ck does this happen?” screamed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. “How does a breakfast sandwich outsell Scientology for 50 years?” “The agonized fate of every man, woman, and child on […]
After taking down the racist Civil War era monument of Robert E. Lee, a few Virginians were perplexed to awaken this morning and find it replaced by a giant bust of 1950’s […]
Can you be a Scientologist and a Pentecostal snake-handler? The answer is a definite “yes” according to Scientology leader Captain David Miscavige. “We in Scientology welcome Pentecostal snake-handlers and members of all […]
“Scientology religious leader COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige signed into ecclesiastical law his newly-conceived and simplified 12 step program for Scientology’s Narconon drug treatment centers: 1. Collect $35,000 per drug addict entering […]
Mars Traffic Control Police Chief Paul Horner ordered NASA’s Mars Rover Perseverance ticketed and towed. “Perseverance was parked and taking photos of the mountains. However, the rover was blocking the entrance to […]
Scientology leader Mr. David Miscavige was ecstatic: He had packed the Kodak Theater in Hollywood with a standing room only crowd. This had never happened before. Mr. Miscavige was delighted that the […]
“Now that the world is reopening,” said COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, “I have ordered Scientology Ethics Officers to begin ordering Scientologists in for brutal sec checks that last hundreds of hours […]
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