The US Department of Homeland Security today announced that actor Sean Penn flew to Curacao for a secret meeting with El Whacko the world’s most notorious ecclesiastical leader. “El Whacko wants me […]
Sean Penn Meets El Whacko
Scientology’s Front Porch to Infinity Flooded by El Nino Storms
The Church of Scientology’s brand new front porch to infinity, the same porch just celebrated by COB RTC David Miscavige at the New Year’s Eve event, was flooded today by severe El […]
Church of Scientology to Purchase ISIS Oil
In order to ensure a supply of cheap gasoline to Scientology’s Ideal Org gas stations and mini-marts, Imam David Miscavige recently traveled to Syria and negotiated an oil deal with ISIS for […]
Chief Ferocious Jew & Squaw Hot Momma
File under: You can’t make this stuff up! The Church of Scientology and its members frequently deliver bigotry, racism, vulgarity, profanity, footbullets, and stupidity on a silver platter. No one needs to […]
Scientology Actor Juliette Lewis Named 2016 OT Goodwill Ambassador
Scientology Actor Juliette Lewis Named 2016 OT Goodwill Ambassaor! In addition to being a famous actor, Juliette Lewis is also is a famous OT singing sensation:
Conditional Holiday Greetings from the Church of Scientology
Church of Scientology Conditional Holiday Greetings (Please read, fill in your name, date, and then sign and return to your nearest Church of Scientology in the postage-paid return envelope) We in the […]
Actor Nicolas Cage to Return Stolen Scientology E-Meter Purchased from Disreputable Mormon Art Dealer
Actor Nicolas Cage agreed to return a stolen antique Scientology e-meter he unwittingly purchased in 2007 from a disreputable Mormon art dealer. “The e-meter was a very rare 1954 Venutian 54-C tube […]
Billy Joe Bumpus Named 2015 Power FSM of the Year
New OT VII Billy Joe Bumpus of Glendale, California was named Power FSM of the year. “Billy Joe disseminated Scientology to 1.759 billion people of Earth, thus beating Tom Cruise’s old record […]
Captain David Miscavige Orders the “OT Obesity Epidemic” Terminatedly Handled
“Captain David Miscavige has ordered the ‘OT Obesity Epidemic’ in the Church of Scientology terminatedly handled,’” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed Captain Stayta Kleer as Obesity Dictator. […]
Give Billy Eichner All the Emmys for This “Escape from Scientology” Obstacle Course
We in the Church of Scientology highly recommend OT Billy Eichner’s “Escape From Scientology” video. Billy is hereby awarded his Bridge to Total Freedom at 50% off list price. Billy Eichner is […]
