CONFIDENTIAL OSA PR Situation: Surveys over the past 25 years have consistently shown Church of Scientology events to be dull, boring, and garish money-grabs. Worse, the wog public believes COB to be […]
Your Assignment from OSA
Cease and Desist Letter to the Underground Bunker
Date 3 Feb 2016 From: Bart Dixslurper, Esq To: The Underground Bunker Re: Cease and Desist My client, the Religious Technology Center (RTC), finds the comments on the Underground Bunker to be […]
Threat Letter from Church Attorney Bart Dixslurper, Esq
CONFIDENTIAL COMMUNICATION Date: 1 Feb 2016 To: The Internet From: Bart Dixslurper, Esq. Re: OT Documents and Criminal J&D Dear Internet, We have been retained as counsel by the Religious Technology Center […]
Heavier than Air Flight?
Heavier than air flight is as fake as the Moon landing. Only Scientology has the answers.
COB Finds the “Why” for Failing Orgs
“After recently discovering yet more lost tech in the cavernous file cabinets of the Founder that, if laid end to end, would stretch from here to Venus, COB has finally found the […]
Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists Now Open
“The new Scientology Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists is now open,” declared Commissar Frank Wonderman, CO for Eastern European and Russia. “Thus far, however, no Sea Org have reported for duty […]
The New GAT II Cause Resurgence Ideal Running Shoe
“Flag is offering a 15% IAS discount on the new GAT II Cause Resurgence Ideal Running Shoe,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “This new shoe fully embodies the Founder’s design for the […]
Ethics Interrogatory on David Miscavige
CONFIDENTIAL OSA INT EMERGENCY COMM Summary: J&D’ers on the interwebs are making fun of the recent OSA Ethics Interrogatory. This J&D activity must be stopped. COB has called a Code Red. All […]
Church of Scientology Needs Heart Transplant
Aged sixty-six and suffering from heart disease, shortness of breath, a bad back, and memory loss, the Church of Scientology was rushed to the emergency room after suddenly passing out during its […]
Sean Penn Meets El Whacko
The US Department of Homeland Security today announced that actor Sean Penn flew to Curacao for a secret meeting with El Whacko the world’s most notorious ecclesiastical leader. “El Whacko wants me […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 