* My failed purposes have failed in their purposes to stop me. Hence, I am becoming more prosurvival everyday. * For Scientology Volunteer Ministers, a disaster is an opportunity waiting to happen. […]
Why Does Tom Cruise Keep Leaving Scientology and Coming Back?
Tom Cruise leaves Scientology every few years but then he always comes back. Why? Because the rumors are true: We in Scientology have all the dirt on Tom Cruise. We won’t publicly […]
Mark C. Rathbun: OMG! The Martians Are After Me!
There are covert operations being run on me by the troika and their financiers! I can tell because there were tire tracks on the road by the gas station that weren’t there […]
Get the SP!
Dad was driving the family’s Oldsmobile Vista-Cruiser when he spotted the SP in the crosswalk. Dad accelerated hard, and, with a hard-fixed Scientology glare, aimed the gleaming 5,000 pounds of Detroit steel […]
RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis
Dear Sir, Your Super Bowl ad was super-fantastic. Our tracking data shows that over five billion people responded positively to the ad. These billions of people now have a favorable impression of […]
Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!
Tom Cruise yesterday tried to escape from Scientology’s ultra-secret compound in Trementina, New Mexico. The 55 year old actor bolted from his cell, ran across the tarmac, and grabbed onto the side […]
Scientology: Buggery on the High Seas!
The motor vessel Freewinds will be the location of Scientology Media Productions first feature film Buggery on the High Seas. Based on a screenplay by L. Ron Haddock, the film features “rum […]
Budget Drastically Slashed for L. Ron Hubbard’s 2018 Birthday Event
“Due to the extreme global statcrash in Scientology’s gross income brought about by a certain suppressive television show, Ron’s 2018 birthday event will be held at Dwayne and Helen Schuman’s home in […]
Scientologist Joy Villa Wears a “Choose Fife” Dress to the Grammys
Saying she felt Deputy Barney Fife of the Mayberry Sheriff’s Department embodied the best in MAGA values, Scientology celebutard Joy Villa wore a “Choose Fife” dress to the 2018 Grammys. The Grammy-considered […]
A Message from Scientology Leader David Miscavige to Joy Villa:
How dare Joy Villa think it was okay to “play down” Scientology to a bunch of Trump-loving MAGA wogs! How are Joy pretend to be a Christian when she knows that the […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 