We in RTC greet you in the name of the Honorable COB RTC David Miscavige, the Beneficent. All praise be due unto COB. Regarding the Nation of Islam, we in RTC already […]
North Korea Obliterates an SP
We in RTC salute Kim Jong-un, the new COB of North Korea for obliterating a Suppressive Person: As reported in The Telegraph, the SP was found guilty of Joking and Degrading: “Kim […]
Warning to all Church Members!!!
We in RTC are issuing this public warning to all members of the Church of Scientology: WOGS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED WALKING ON LRH WAY IN HOLLYWOOD! We in RTC ordered OSA to […]
The Burger King Becomes a Scientologist!
Over fifty thousand Scientologists gathered this weekend at St. Hill for the annual IAS convention. The big news of the weekend at St. Hill was of course the announcement that the internationally […]
Texas SP’s Pull It In: Big Tex Goes Up in Flames!
It is no secret that the insane Nation of Texas hates the Church of Scientology because the Church is in every way better than Texas. We in the Church have the Tech […]
Public Notice: Church of Scientology to Outlaw the Internet
Scientology Pope David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology, “Is taking the serious and necessary action of outlawing the internet in order to protect Scientology and all other religions from […]
Scientology Singles in Search of Romance!
We in RTC receive far too many Knowledge Reports from lonely single Scientologists whining about just how bad the dating scene is for them out there. It seems that it is very […]
Tom Cruise NOT is leaving Scienotlogy to get whatshername Katie Holmes back!
We in RTC wish to emphatically make it clear that OT VII Tom Cruise will not be leaving the Church of Scientology to win back whatshername Katie Holmes.The divorce happened and Tom […]
Attention Men: Scientology Wife Auditioning Services Now Available to the Public!
Are you a wealthy, hideous, lonely narcissistic man who wants an obedient trophy wife? If so, we in the Church of Scientology can make your dreams come true with our new Wife […]
Off Limits! New Book Attacking COB RTC David Miscavige and Tom Cruise!
We in RTC have declared as OFF LIMITS the new book by bitter defrocked apostate Mark Rathbun. This book is in the same league as the movie of The Exorcist, which we […]