“With a glut of empty Ideal Orgs splattered across the continents of Earth, we in Scientology are hemorrhaging cash paying for the upkeep on all of this square footage. Accordingly, Scientology will […]
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige singlehandedly saved the entire nation of Colombia from violence, evil, terror, drug-traffickers, and every other danger. For his efforts, the grateful nation of Colombia awarded him its […]
We in Scientology wish to apologize for any misunderstanding over the installation of our kiosk in the public lobby of the LAPD Hollywood Division station house. What was supposed to have been […]
The latest technical research at Flag indicates that Scientologists are too overcharged to handle David Miscavige engrams in session. In 90% of cases, the e-meter blew up. The correct handling is to […]
Sane advice from Scientology’s non-religious moral code The Way to Happiness: There are many practical reasons for not murdering your friends, your family, or yourself being murdered. Just one example: A murderous […]
“When word got around that Scientology had a new top-secret e-meter that could instantly cure-all forms of psychological distress and thereby eliminate the need for Psych drugs, Big Pharma was terrified! Big […]
“After two years of work at a cost of $90 million USD, the MV Freewinds has been successfully lengthened to 402 meters (1,319 feet),” announced Captain Mike Napoleon. “The ship will now […]
Scientology is now hiring really bad Elvis impersonators as fundraisers. This is a commission only position and you must pay your own expenses. Pay is 3% of the take. “The fate of […]
In a ruling handed down today in the US Middle District of Florida Federal Court, Judge James Whittemore affirmed the Church of Scientology’s religious right to “hunt down and guillotine Suppressive Persons.” […]
Scientologist Dr. John Mappin educates and warns the wog public why no one should ever use Xenu’s weed a/k/a marijuana: Xenu’s Weed was created eons ago by mal-intentioned botanical psychiatrists! Here are […]
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