The forces of Psychiatric Suppression have conspired to create global warming. The oceans are rising and a great global flood will soon destroy everyone. Everyone that is except those aboard the Scientology […]
Scientology Interfaith Event Speaker Contract and Release
I________________________________ hereby covenant and contract with the Church of Scientology International (the Church) to be a speaker at the Church’s Interfaith Event to be held at ___________________________ on the date of __________________. […]
Attn Scientologists: The “Religious Bigotry” Emergency Alarm Button is Now Available: Get It, Use It!
“With anti-religious bigots running loose everywhere across the world, all Scientologists are expected to buy and use the new religious bigotry alarm button,” said Rev. Ken Delusion, Director of Religious Bigotry Prevention […]
Mr. Peanut: The Face of Hatred From the Psych Legume Lobby!
Watching the @Scientology ad like… pic.twitter.com/iCnkfmTS8l — Mr. Peanut (@MrPeanut) February 4, 2019 We in Scientology are outraged that Mr. Peanut would engage in religious bigotry and hatred! What would Mickey do?
The Leaning Scientology Ideal Org of The Valley
“Pictures don’t lie,” said Valley Ideal Org Executive Director Ken Delusion. “Our Org is leaning. The entire building slopes towards Burbank Blvd. “This sloping of the building interfered with yesterday’s meeting of […]
Scientology in a Crisis of Excess Carpeting & Floor Space
“Scientology’s straight up and vertical expansion over the years has created a crisis of excess carpeting and floor space,” declared ED Daphne Dimwit of the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org. “The carpet […]
The Scientology Sea Org Prepares to Destroy the Internet!
“Declaring the internet to be proveable bullshit, we in the Scientology Sea Org are preparing to wage war against rationality, reason, sanity, and all other manifestations of the internet,” declared Fleet Admiral […]
Pastor Ernest Angley is Reaching Out to You Today
Pastor Ernest Angley is reaching out to you today. He wants you stop wasting your time attacking Scientology and wants you to reach out for Jesus. In fact, why don’t you just […]
Allison Mack Joins Scientology; Gets NXIVM Repair Auditing
“2019 will be better than ever,” enthused actress Allison Mack from Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida. “Scientology helped me realize that NXIVM is a horrible cult and that Keith Raniere is […]
Thanks to Scientology You Can Now Call the Dead!
Thanks to the Science of Scientology, you can now call the dead. This has been a problem in the past as the dead live in space far beyond the Van Allen Radiation […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 