“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
Church of Scientology Declared PTS to RTC
We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
David Miscavige, Pope of Scientology = POS
All heads of state have acronyms: * The Secret Service acronym for the President of the United States is POTUS. * The Church of Scientology acronym for the Pope of Scientology is […]
Urgent: Donate Now to the Pope David Miscavige Legal Defense Fund!
Speaking today from a packed news conference at the Howard Johnson’s in Comal County, Texas, Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion expressed the collective moral outrage of the world’s 12,000,000 Scientology parishioners. “In a […]
The Future of the Scientology Tent in Clearwater, Florida
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
Scientology Researchers Locate Lunatic Fringes of the Internet
Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
Captain David Miscavige Targets SINO’s!
SINO! The mere sound of this filthy word brings a sneer to Captain Miscavige’s face. “Scientologists In Name Only disgust me,” Captain Miscavige said. “These people pay lip service to the Church […]
US Customs Officials Confuse New Scientology E-Meter for Easy Bake Oven
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
New E-Meter Fleet Grounded Due to Battery Overheating & Fires
The same lithium ion battery overheating problem plaguing the Boeing Dreamliner has now affected Scientology’s new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. “The Ultra Mark VIII was designed with lithium ion batteries in order […]