HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex. HCO POLICY LEITER OF 15 FEBRUARY 1966 HCO Dir LRH Comm ATTACKS ON SCIENTOLOGY Remimeo Exec Sec Hats HCO Sec Hat Legal Officer […]
Trotskyite Wreckers and Internetistas Are Responsible for Attacks Upon the Church of Scientology

“Trotskyite wreckers, Internetistas, and other double dealers have been found to be the SP’s responsible for derailing COB’s most recent five year plan,” Comrade Frankovich Wondermanski somberly declared at the recent 37th […]
Why Do You Hate COB?

Why do you hate COB? Church of Scientology sec checkers have been finding “I hate COB” as the withhold behind so much of the natter, enturbulation, gross out ethics, and sabotage these […]
Confidential New Year’s Message to the Sea Org from COB RTC David Miscavige

Confidential New Year’s Message from COB RTC David Miscavige “First, I’d like to thank the Sea Org for their very special Christmas present to me of the new custom chopper. Sea Org […]
David Miscavige Run Over By a Reindeer

“In a shocking turn of events at the annual Scientology Christmas parade, COB RTC David Miscavige was run over by a reindeer,” Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion stated at a special […]
Holy Roman Catholic Church Copies Church of Scientology!

“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
Church of Scientology Declared PTS to RTC

We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
Scientology Researchers Locate Lunatic Fringes of the Internet

Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
Super Power Perceptic #13: Smell

We in RTC are pleased to report that final attendance figures for last week’s festivities at Flag Land Base totaled 33,891,209 Scientologists — 12,572 of whom went permanently exterior with full perception […]
Super Fighter Tom Cruise Saves the Church of Scientology from Psychiatry!

We in the Church of Scientology wish to clear up a misconception in the media: Tom’s Cruise’s main job is not acting; he only acts to pay the bills. No, Tom Cruise’s […]