OTVIIIisGrrr8!
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Captain David Miscavige Orders the “OT Obesity Epidemic” Terminatedly Handled
“Captain David Miscavige has ordered the ‘OT Obesity Epidemic’ in the Church of Scientology terminatedly handled,’” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed Captain Stayta Kleer as Obesity Dictator. […]
Give Billy Eichner All the Emmys for This “Escape from Scientology” Obstacle Course
We in the Church of Scientology highly recommend OT Billy Eichner’s “Escape From Scientology” video. Billy is hereby awarded his Bridge to Total Freedom at 50% off list price. Billy Eichner is […]
Hollywood Director David Miscavige to Release Film Called “Going Clear: Scientology and the Bridge to Total Movie Stardom”
David Miscavige is many things: Global ecclesiastical leader, scholar, humanitarian, acclaimed orator, auteur, inventor, interior decorator, empire builder, billionaire, and now he is set to show the world his impressive talents […]
David Miscavige Receives IRS 35 Year Service Award
In a private ceremony today in Washington DC, IRS special undercover agent David Miscavige received a gold watch and a distinguished employee award in recognition of his 35 years of service. The […]
New Sec Checking Sledge Hammer Increases Confessions 4700x
“When applied standardly to kneecaps, elbows, or heads, the patented new RTC sec checking sledge hammer increases confessions 4700x,” declared CO OSA Inquisitions Captain Stayta Kleer. “The new Ultra Mark VIII meter […]
Scientologist Jenna Elfman’s Performance in “Youth for Human Rights” Wins Fraudie Award
Scientologist Jenna Elfman successfully lined the Church of Scientology’s pockets with $10,000 when she successfully scammed Legoland California by representing an apparently noble group named Youth for Human Rights. What Elfman apparently […]
The Real Story Behind Empty Scientology Orgs
Scientology bitter defrocked apostates are quick to talk about Scientology Orgs being empty — and they are indeed empty. Even the downstat, non-Ideal, and prison-like Orgs such as Brighton are empty: What […]
Ecclesiastical Leader Monthly Magazine
New Scientology Earth Phone Released
“The new Scientology Earth Phone makes it possible for any Scientologist to call any other Scientologist on Earth,” announced Church spokesperson Stayta Kleer. “But rather than relying upon dubious 21st century NSA-infested […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 