Acting upon secret orders from Captain David Miscavige, shock squads from the Church of Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs moved quickly under the cover of darkness. OSA agents fanned out across South […]
Church of Scientology Saves Clearwater from Deadly Terrorist Attack!
“The Church of Scientology has done the impossible,” exclaimed Dr. Eldon Weiner of the Flag Land Base. “There was a very real chance that Al Qaeda was going to launch some kind […]
Alleged Domestic Terrorist Devon Newman Was Never a Scientologist!
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that alleged domestic terrorist Devon Newman was never actually a member of the Church. “We looked everywhere,” Delusion stated, “And nowhere could we find […]
Church of Scientology Reverend Devon Newman Arrested in Plot to Kill Police Officer
We in the Church of Scientology have just received data that Scientologist Devon Newman was arrested by the Las Vegas Police Department on charges of conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to commit […]
An RTC Review of Scientologist Michelle Stafford and Her New Comedy Video
A new short comedy video made by Scientologist Michelle Stafford reflects the LRH datum which states that, “Humor is rejection.” In this comedy piece, Michelle Stafford mocks up a lower harmonic valence […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Trapped in Elevator at Flag – Opening of Super Power Delayed
As dramatic security camera video shows, this afternoon for over one tense hour the ecclesiastical leader of the Scientology religion was trapped in a elevator at Flag Land Base. Flag dialed 911 […]
Scientology Announces Its One Billionth Clear!
We in RTC are pleased to announce that the Church of Scientology has made its one billionth Clear! Her name is Sarah Palin and she is the former Governor of Alaska. We […]