“Measles are an implant Scientology can handle using New Era Dianetics,” said Scientology chiropractor Colonel Dr. Roberto Cadiz. “As a chiropractor, I see mock ups of so-called serious diseases all the time,” […]
Scientology & Measles
Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology
“After two years of work at a cost of $90 million USD, the MV Freewinds has been successfully lengthened to 402 meters (1,319 feet),” announced Captain Mike Napoleon. “The ship will now […]
David Miscavige Wardrobe Malfunction Leads to a Morals Charge; Big Pharma Behind the Plot!
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
Scientology: Buggery on the High Seas!
The motor vessel Freewinds will be the location of Scientology Media Productions first feature film Buggery on the High Seas. Based on a screenplay by L. Ron Haddock, the film features “rum […]
MV Freewinds Accidentally Scrapped
“Captain Mike Napier was at Flag for a heavy Ethics cycle. This left Ensign Nandor Vörös in charge of the vessel. In what has to be the worst telex error in the […]
Scientology Fugitive David Miscavige Arrested by the FBI
After a nearly year-long manhunt, Scientology fugitive David Miscavige was arrested by the FBI in Las Vegas after being picked up by local police for a minor shoplifting incident. Las Vegas police […]
Billy on the Street – Escape from Scientology with Rachel Dratch
Give Billy Eichner All the Emmys for This “Escape from Scientology” Obstacle Course
We in the Church of Scientology highly recommend OT Billy Eichner’s “Escape From Scientology” video. Billy is hereby awarded his Bridge to Total Freedom at 50% off list price. Billy Eichner is […]
Big Beings Being Big Magazine
We at Scientology Media Productions, on behalf of COB RTC David Miscavige, are pleased to launch our inaugural edition of Big Beings Being Big magazine, the new monthly journal for OT’s. Get […]
PUBLIC NOTICE: TORONTO SP CONFERENCE DECLARED AN ILLEGAL CRIMINAL ASSEMBLY
— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED SP TORONTO CONFERENCE BY A DESIGNATED SP AUTHORITY— We in RTC have declared the SP Toronto Conference, or conclave, or whatever it is […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 