We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions: 1. We will raise all prices 4000% […]
Scientology’s New Year’s Resolutions
Christmas Greetings from Scientology Supreme Leader David Miscavige
MV Freewinds Accidentally Scrapped
“Captain Mike Napier was at Flag for a heavy Ethics cycle. This left Ensign Nandor Vörös in charge of the vessel. In what has to be the worst telex error in the […]
Danny Masterson Appearance at Scientology’s Christmas Party Cancelled
“Danny Masterson’s traditional appearance as Santa Claus at the Scientology Celebrity Centre’s Christmas gala has been cancelled,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. When asked to comment on the allegations that Scientologist Danny […]
David Miscavige: Scientology is in a SERIOUS CRISIS and Needs More Money Now!
“Scientology is in a SERIOUS CRISIS and needs more money now!” brayed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige at the Maiden Beating Event. “Never in the entire agonized history of this planet has […]
Did someone mention Scientology media whores?
Welcome to Scientology
Welcome to Scientology. We’ll begin by having you get rid of your suppressive family. BTW, you can’t watch ScientologyTheAftermath or we’ll declare you an SP!
Applications now being accepted for the Sea Org One Billion Year Smoking Club!
* Do you like smoking cigarettes and lots of them? We do too! So does COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige! So did L. Ron Hubbard! * Do you like the idea of […]
Scientologist Tom Cruise Quits Acting to Become an Auditor in the Sea Org
Scientologist Tom Cruise announced today that he has quit his acting career to become an auditor in the Sea Org. “This planet’s not going to get cleared unless I help,” said Cruise. […]
Danny Masterson Joins the Sea Org CLO in Canada
“Danny Masterson wanted a higher purpose in life than acting,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Danny also needed a billion year break from the entheta of Hollywood, a change of jurisdiction so […]
