“Facebook shares have been hammered in the last two days,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Here is the cold-blooded truth: Facebook pulled in the worst-ever single day stock market statcrash because it […]
David Miscavige Wardrobe Malfunction Leads to a Morals Charge; Big Pharma Behind the Plot!
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
Scientology, Toilet Paper, and Electricity
We in the Religious Technology Center are busy, busy, busy handling planetary emergencies. We sometimes even have to handle off-planet emergencies, e.g. the Implanters Union #47 is on strike again at the […]
Emergency Funding Needed by Scientology to Prevent the “Henry Bemis Scenario”
Scientology’s ultra-secret Church of Spiritual Technology has spent hundreds of millions of dollars constructing nuclear-proof underground vaults to protect the works of the Founder. When Armageddon occurs the survivors will be able […]
LRH’s Exactly Taped Path Out of the Trap
By way of answering an oft-asked technical question we get in RTC, Dr. Hubbard used Mighty Line® Deluxe Safety Tape – 4″ x 100′, Yellow/Black to exactly tape the way out of […]
Dr. Frank Wonderman: Why Counter-Intention on COB’s Lines Must Be Smashed!
Just as Trotskyite wreckers and diversionists were a threat to the worker’s revolution in Russia, so too are Psych wreckers and diversionists who traffick in reasonableness a threat to Scientology’s noble aim […]
#SPYGATE
Scientology & North Korea: A Bright Future Ahead
Following their historic meetings for bilateral talks on slave labor, sleep deprivation, torture, beatings, malnutrition, extortion, blackmail, money laundering and other methods that are vital to totalitarian regimes, David Miscavige and Kim […]
Meet a Scientologist: Thorsten Von Overgaard Handling Overpopulation by Selling Bags Made from Human Babies!
Scientologists care about global problems such as pollution, drugs, and overpopulation. And that is why Scientologist Thorsten Von Overgaard is selling a line of designer bags made from human babies. “We harvest […]
Scientology TV Features World’s First OTX Completion!
We in RTC are pleased to announced that Marshall Herff Applewhite, leader of the Heaven’s Gate Church, is the world’s first OTX completion. When asked by Scientology TV to comment, Applewhite enthused, […]
