“As the most ethical group on the planet, we in the Church of Scientology oppose fake news,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Unlike the truths we speak in Scientology, fake news is […]
Church of Scientology: We Have Been the Victims of Fake News for Decades!
“We in the Church of Scientology have been the victims of fake news for decades!” proclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These fake news stories about Scientology have been spread by the unholy […]
Scientology Matters
A man dressed in a gorilla outfit and wearing a t-shirt that read “Scientology Matters” ran onto the field during Sunday’s NFL game between the Bears and the Lions. Tackled by security […]
The World’s First Scientology OT X Completion!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today announced that octogenarian Scientologist and OSA Subway sandwich operative Noelle North has become the world’s first OT X completion. This stupendous event occurred when Noelle North […]
Freedom Magazine Special Report: The Four Year Rampage of the Underground Bunker
A veritable Internet Fortress of Suppression, the Underground Bunker has broadcast entheta 24/7/365 to a global audience of over-caffeinated wogs for four consecutive Earth years now. But what are the real facts? […]
The Psychiatric Illuminati Behind “Burning Man” Incinerate Mankind’s Only Hope of Salvation in a Scientology Witch Hunt
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige Crushes Coup in Turkey!
Turkey’s wog President Recep Tayyip Erdogan today publicly thanked the Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and his elite RTC Thetan Team 6 commandos for crushing the attempted coup against Erdogan’s government. Said Scientology […]
Are You a Declared SP Being Harassed by Anti-Scientologists? There is Help!
“We in the Church of Scientology have opened up a hotline for declared SP’s to call if they feel harassed by anti-Scientologists,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Even though we totally ruined […]
Church of Scientology Asks FBI to Clear It of All Criminal Charges
After the FBI cleared Hillary Clinton of a felony violation of “Section 793(f) of the federal penal code (Title 18): With lawful access to highly classified information she acted with gross negligence […]
Urine Command!
Captain Ken Delusion strode disgustedly from the men’s room in the music studio at Gold Base and yelled “Urine Command!” Ensign Stayta Kleer who was standing nearby in the empty hallway replied, […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 