“The global demand for Scientology is huge, just incredibly huge,” exclaimed Scientology Media Czar Ken Delusion. “Folks, Scientology is fabulous, just fabulous. We are a winning Church with beautiful people.” “Let me […]
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige Orders Scientology Security Forces to Stand Down in Clearwater
After an intense 48 hour manhunt and dragnet conducted by over 1,200 members of Scientology’s security forces, it has been determined that Tony Ortega was not in Clearwater. Nevertheless, the threat of […]
How to Determine if a Scientologist is in Good Standing with the Church of Scientology
All Scientologists are like Schrödinger’s cat in the box: They are simultaneously in good standing and not in good standing with the Church. If a radioactive legal particle adverse to the Church […]
Scientology National Affairs Office — Press Release
Scientology National Affairs Office 1701 20th St NW Washington, DC 20009 PRESS RELEASE Scientologist Trish Duggan today met with senior Trump administration officials to lobby for the establishment of an Office of […]
Church of Scientology: We Oppose Fake News!
“As the most ethical group on the planet, we in the Church of Scientology oppose fake news,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Unlike the truths we speak in Scientology, fake news is […]
Church of Scientology: We Have Been the Victims of Fake News for Decades!
“We in the Church of Scientology have been the victims of fake news for decades!” proclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These fake news stories about Scientology have been spread by the unholy […]
Scientology Matters
A man dressed in a gorilla outfit and wearing a t-shirt that read “Scientology Matters” ran onto the field during Sunday’s NFL game between the Bears and the Lions. Tackled by security […]
The World’s First Scientology OT X Completion!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today announced that octogenarian Scientologist and OSA Subway sandwich operative Noelle North has become the world’s first OT X completion. This stupendous event occurred when Noelle North […]
Freedom Magazine Special Report: The Four Year Rampage of the Underground Bunker
A veritable Internet Fortress of Suppression, the Underground Bunker has broadcast entheta 24/7/365 to a global audience of over-caffeinated wogs for four consecutive Earth years now. But what are the real facts? […]
The Psychiatric Illuminati Behind “Burning Man” Incinerate Mankind’s Only Hope of Salvation in a Scientology Witch Hunt
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
