“With anti-religious bigots running loose everywhere across the world, all Scientologists are expected to buy and use the new religious bigotry alarm button,” said Rev. Ken Delusion, Director of Religious Bigotry Prevention […]
“Pictures don’t lie,” said Valley Ideal Org Executive Director Ken Delusion. “Our Org is leaning. The entire building slopes towards Burbank Blvd. “This sloping of the building interfered with yesterday’s meeting of […]
Just as the discovery of 50,000 year old fossilized e-meter shocked the world and proved the antiquity of Scientology, the latest discovery by Dr. Ken Delusion’s team of Archeo-Scientologists is guaranteed to […]
“With a glut of empty Ideal Orgs splattered across the continents of Earth, we in Scientology are hemorrhaging cash paying for the upkeep on all of this square footage. Accordingly, Scientology will […]
Complaining that there was not enough gold ornamentation on his stage set and that the video lacked color saturation, David Miscavige today fired everyone who worked for Scientology TV. “COB is very […]
“Facebook shares have been hammered in the last two days,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Here is the cold-blooded truth: Facebook pulled in the worst-ever single day stock market statcrash because it […]
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
“The new Scientology Danger Process calls for Scientologists to hang upside down for twelve hours over the 110 freeway in Downtown Los Angeles while suspended from a rope,” said Church spokesman Ken […]
“Spacelord Xenu’s long-time criminal associate Darth Vader was arrested and taken into custody at the Scientology World Fair in Hemet,” announced International Justice Chief Mr. Ken Delusion. “Vader was spotted in the […]
“Due to the highest ever straight up and vertical expansion resulting from Scientology TV, Scientology is now outsourcing some of its BT exorcism workload to the Catholic Church,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. […]
