“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
All heads of state have acronyms: * The Secret Service acronym for the President of the United States is POTUS. * The Church of Scientology acronym for the Pope of Scientology is […]
Speaking today from a packed news conference at the Howard Johnson’s in Comal County, Texas, Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion expressed the collective moral outrage of the world’s 12,000,000 Scientology parishioners. “In a […]
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
The same lithium ion battery overheating problem plaguing the Boeing Dreamliner has now affected Scientology’s new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. “The Ultra Mark VIII was designed with lithium ion batteries in order […]
COB RTC David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology had obtained exclusive global rights for the Ouija Board from Parker Brothers. “COB is convinced,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion,” that […]
Following COB’s stunning surprise announcement that the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter would be literally given away for the ridiculously low price of $4,900 on Black Friday, millions of Scientologists began lining […]
The credit card reader on the new Ultra Mark VIII means that auditing has never been easier! Simply slide your card and voila! You’re in session! On a related note, the RTC […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 