Confidential New Year’s Message from COB RTC David Miscavige “First, I’d like to thank the Sea Org for their very special Christmas present to me of the new custom chopper. Sea Org […]
“In a shocking turn of events at the annual Scientology Christmas parade, COB RTC David Miscavige was run over by a reindeer,” Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion stated at a special […]
“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
We in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following: Basics GAT II services Ultra Mark VIII e-meters […]
Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
We in RTC are pleased to report that final attendance figures for last week’s festivities at Flag Land Base totaled 33,891,209 Scientologists — 12,572 of whom went permanently exterior with full perception […]
We in the Church of Scientology wish to clear up a misconception in the media: Tom’s Cruise’s main job is not acting; he only acts to pay the bills. No, Tom Cruise’s […]
COB RTC David Miscavige is furious with Scientology parishioners for refusing to pick up their phones when Flag or their local Org calls them to confirm their attendance at the most important […]
We in RTC wish to make it clear that wogs, SP’s, and Scientology haters are NOT WELCOME inside COB’s new Ecclesiastical Pavilion at Flag Land Base. Only the beautiful people, only true […]
Thanks to the superhuman efforts of Church of Scientology parishioners everywhere, COB RTC David Miscavige today declared Super Power a done. This is amazing news! In a statement from an undisclosed location, […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 