Ensign Dick Duckley of the Sea Org didn’t need the Scientology Justice Manual to tell him there was a serious flap in the San Fernando Valley. Indeed, Duckley had been fired on […]
Trouble in the San Fernando Valley
Church of Scientology’s Master Plan for Clearwater, Florida
“We in the Church of Scientology are pleased to announce our sweeping and fully embracive new master plan to transform Clearwater, Florida,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “When the Church of Scientology […]
Emergency: The Way to Happiness Needed to Bring Peace to Iraq!
“As Iraq implodes, it is vital that hundreds of millions of copies of The Way to Happiness be rushed to this global hotspot immediately,” declared Dr. Eldon Weiner, Commanding Officer of Enforced […]
Stop Holding Out on Captain Miscavige!
“With all of the attacks on the Church of Scientology lately, Captain Miscavige needs more money now than ever before,” declared Dr. Eldon Weiner of the IAS Emergency Broadcast Network. “The fact […]
Grant Cardone: Stop Wasting Money on Junk!
We in RTC salute OTVIII Grant Cardone for laying down the smack: “Stop Wasting Money on Junk!” Indeed, one’s personal life and livingness expenses should be minimized in order to increasingly raise […]
Captain Miscavige Declares Flag Down an Illegal Criminal Assembly
Captain David Miscavige today declared Flag Down an illegal criminal assembly. Captain Miscavige additionally banned Church parishioners from going anywhere within 3000 nautical miles of Flag Down. “This 3000 nautical mile SP […]
Clippers Owner Donald Sterling Turns to David Miscavige for Crisis PR Management
“Crippled by incontrovertible ‘smoking gun’ evidence of his racial bigotry, Clippers owner Donald Sterling has turned to David Miscavige for crisis PR management,” Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a Staples […]
Alert! Urgent! Office of Special Affairs Recruiting! Join NOW NOW NOW!
“All hands emergency: The Office of Special Affairs is on an urgent recruit cycle to bring some new bodies into the most badly overworked area in the Church.” “We’ve entered an entirely […]
Try Scientology For 30 Days Free in Your Own Home!
Hello, my name is Kevin Trudeau and I want to introduce you to the most exciting space-age religion out there today and, yes, I’m talking about Scientology! Scientology is so good they […]
Attack the Attacker!
HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex. HCO POLICY LEITER OF 15 FEBRUARY 1966 HCO Dir LRH Comm ATTACKS ON SCIENTOLOGY Remimeo Exec Sec Hats HCO Sec Hat Legal Officer […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 