“If you’re stuck on the toilet, then surely you’ll be stuck on your Bridge as well,” declared Dr. Juan Diego San Kool de Menthol, New OTVIII, three L’s completions, OEC/FEBC with gold […]
Scientology Super Purification Colon Cleanser
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige Announces ABF
“Entheta is up 3,000%,” announced Captain Ken Delusion, CO Entheta Particles Unit OSA. “Even with all he is doing, and all he has done, COB can’t open new Ideal Orgs fast enough […]
Psychs Behind Skyrocketing Black Market in Counterfeit OT Certs
With Scientology now the coolest religion on Earth, literally the Mouwad’s 1001 Nights Diamond purse of the mind, everyone wants to be an OT — even SP’s, DB’s, 1.1’s, wogs, spectators, dilettantes, […]
Announcing the New “Freedom From Oxygen Rundown”
“Guaranteed to crack any case, the new Freedom From O2 Rundown results in almost immediate unconsciousness followed by permanent full exteriorization within a few minutes,” enthused Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “As COB […]
Flag OT Success Stories
We at Flag Land Base make OT’s; that is our business. And our OT’s have major stable wins and huge successes in life. We share a few of their millions of their […]
Captain David Miscavige Orders the “OT Obesity Epidemic” Terminatedly Handled
“Captain David Miscavige has ordered the ‘OT Obesity Epidemic’ in the Church of Scientology terminatedly handled,’” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed Captain Stayta Kleer as Obesity Dictator. […]
Dave Miscavige: Songs of Scientology Rhapsody
“The Chairman of Blue Eyed Soul is the only way to describe the music of Dave Miscavige,” said Golden Era Records VP Ken Delusion. “And that’s why we at Golden Era were […]
Presidential Candidate David Miscavige Wins CNN Debate
Post debate surveys indicate that presidential candidate David Miscavige won the CNN debate by historic orders of magnitude,” said Scientology Director of Polling Dr. Eldon Weiner. “Our initial poll reached 12,000,000 Clearwater […]
Man of the People: Pope David Miscavige Eats at IHOP
Flush from his historic and triumphal Papal visit to Oildale, Scientology Pontiff David Miscavige today ate breakfast with the common people at an IHOP in Fresno, California. “Pope Miscavige is working hard […]
Amazonology: The World’s Fastest Growing Religion!
Bloomberg Business today announced that Amazonology has officially passed Scientology as the world’s fastest growing religion. Ned Jacobs, Senior Editor of Bloomberg’s Religious-Capitalism Fusions Unit, reported that Amazonology eclipsed Scientology last week […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 