Speaking today from a packed news conference at the Howard Johnson’s in Comal County, Texas, Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion expressed the collective moral outrage of the world’s 12,000,000 Scientology parishioners. “In a […]
SINO! The mere sound of this filthy word brings a sneer to Captain Miscavige’s face. “Scientologists In Name Only disgust me,” Captain Miscavige said. “These people pay lip service to the Church […]
COB RTC David Miscavige is personally managing the courtship and marriage of Scientologists Tom Cruise and Laura Prepon. “Mr. Miscavige has a proven record of success handling the 2D, or marriages, of […]
The credit card reader on the new Ultra Mark VIII means that auditing has never been easier! Simply slide your card and voila! You’re in session! On a related note, the RTC […]
We in RTC are pleased to report that final attendance figures for last week’s festivities at Flag Land Base totaled 33,891,209 Scientologists — 12,572 of whom went permanently exterior with full perception […]
Thanks to the miracles wrought by COB RTC David Miscavige in GAT II, people can now go Clear at Flag with complete certainty. This was not possible in the past and that […]
After months of extensive preparation, we in RTC can now announce that next week’s launch of Super Power and GAT II will be the world’s first “On the Cans Only” event. Each […]
COB RTC David Miscavige is furious with Scientology parishioners for refusing to pick up their phones when Flag or their local Org calls them to confirm their attendance at the most important […]
In a new ecclesiastical ruling handed down today from the Church of Scientology’s spiritual headquarters in Hemet, His Holiness Pope Miscavige, the leader of the Scientology religion, decreed that a Scientologist’s IAS […]
COB RTC David Miscavige’s personal Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu advised COB several months ago to seal his giant circus tent against “Suppression Waves” coming in from the wog internet. “Jyotisha-Vastu had a vision, […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 