“The Church of Scientology’s financial impact accounts for 20% of all jobs in America,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion declared today by telex from the ship. “For example, our Ideal Org gas stations […]
Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Gives Texas a Gift!
“Church of Scientology Ecclesiastical Leader, His Imperial Holiness David Miscavige, today decreed that Oklahoma no longer exists,” announced Monsignor Ken Delusion. “In his infinite wisdom and beneficence, therefore, His Imperial Holiness David […]
Church of Scientology Launches NGAFAY Campaign!
“In order to terminatedly handle wogs, haters, SP’s, and bitter defrocked apostates, we in the Church of Scientology have launched a massive PR offensive,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion. […]
Church of Scientology Now Offering Full Refunds!
“The Church of Scientology is now offering full 100% refunds on any training, auditing, books, courses, and all donations for anything that Scientologists were not happy with in any way,” announced Church […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
Costume Fundraising Now a Bridge Action!
“Following COB’s ecclesiastical triumph of relocating the Purif and TR’s and Objectives to their rightful place high atop the Bridge after New OT VIII, Mr. Miscavige has now found another piece of […]
Announcing the New Church of Spiritual Technology Visitor Centers
“It can all be summed up in two words,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “COB cares.” “Indeed, COB cares so very, very much that he recently and fully surveyed the […]
The Church of Scientology’s Solution to the Unemployment Problem
“Our beloved Chairman David Miscavige has announced a bold new initiative to end the unemployment problem,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The answer is to join the Sea Org.” “The […]
Ask Chairman Dave…
Please post your questions to Chairman Dave and we in RTC will reply on behalf of our glorious leader.
Church of Scientology to Implant Members
“As part of GAT II, COB RTC David Miscavige has ordered all Church of Scientology parishioners to be implanted with a special RFID (NSA grade) chip that will track their movements and […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 