“We in the Church of Scientology applaud the anti-gay attitudes of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Indeed,” Delusion noted, “1.1’s, or homosexuals, are not allowed in the […]
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
The same lithium ion battery overheating problem plaguing the Boeing Dreamliner has now affected Scientology’s new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter. “The Ultra Mark VIII was designed with lithium ion batteries in order […]
In the wake of last week’s unprecedented ambush helicopter raid of Flag Land Base by two bitter defrocked apostates hellbent on spying on the Church of Scientology, Fleet Admiral David Miscavige ordered […]
We in RTC are pleased to report that final attendance figures for last week’s festivities at Flag Land Base totaled 33,891,209 Scientologists — 12,572 of whom went permanently exterior with full perception […]
Freedom Magazine Special Report: Fatal Stampede at Flag! 12,000 Scientologists trampled to death in the mad rush to get into the Super Power Building! Speaking today from Flag Land Base, Church of […]
In a new ecclesiastical ruling handed down today from the Church of Scientology’s spiritual headquarters in Hemet, His Holiness Pope Miscavige, the leader of the Scientology religion, decreed that a Scientologist’s IAS […]
COB RTC David Miscavige’s personal Vedic astrologer Jyotisha-Vastu advised COB several months ago to seal his giant circus tent against “Suppression Waves” coming in from the wog internet. “Jyotisha-Vastu had a vision, […]
Taking a break from the whirlwind of legal challenges which he is heroically fending off, COB RTC David Miscavige recently conducted an inspection tour of Flag Land Base. During his inspection, COB […]
Speaking from the Scientology One News Bureaux in Hollywood, Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that COB RTC David Miscavige has ordered all 3.2 billion members of the Church of […]
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