Dr. L. Ron Hubbard has returned to Earth from Target 2 to help guide Scientology organizations through their darkest hours. “By mere observation I have seen that David Miscavige has become worse […]
Battlefield Earth: Scientology in Crisis
Church of Scientology Mobile Ideal Orgs Roll Out This Week!
“If Scientologists won’t come to the Orgs, then the Orgs will come to them!” COB defiantly declared, this after RTC missionaires discovered the WHY for the cataclysmic 90% drop in Church attendance […]
David Miscavige Becomes the World’s First OTX Completion. Calls It “The Third Wall of Fire!”
Scientology ecclesiastical leader Mr. David Miscavige emerged “very knocked out but alive” and became the world’s first OTX completion. “OTX literally dessicates a person’s meat body.” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. […]
David Miscavige Orders All Scientologists To Be Vaccinated with the Blood of Unkillable Zombies
“It has long been scientifically proven that Zombies are unkillable,” noted Dr. Ken Delusion, Director of Scientology Medical Services. “Therefore, Scientology ecclesiastical leader Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Scientologists to be […]
Flag Land Base Reports Highest Ever Auditing Boom — Every Auditing Room In Use!
“Now that Florida is open for business following the Psych-infested hysteria over some imaginary disease, the pent up demand for auditing has created a highest-ever boom in well done auditing hours,” said […]
David Miscavige’s New Film Warns Scientologists About the Dangers of the Internet!
David Miscavige: Jerry Falwell Jr. Should Have Locked His Wife Away Like I Did Mine. All Male Religious Leaders Should Do It.
“Women cause all of the problems in the world and have since the Psychs implanted them trillions of years ago on the planet Farsec,” said Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige. “Women are […]
David Miscavige Accepts Jesus as His Personal Savior
David Miscavige clutched a Bible in his hands. He humbly stared down at his feet and began slowly speaking. “I am a changed man since I accepted Jesus as my personal lord […]
I’m a Scientologist at my Org but a Wog Everywhere Else!
The recent 1,000+ parishioner sec checks conducted by we in RTC revealed a shocking fact: Fully 95% of Scientology publics will only admit to being Scientologists when they are in their Orgs! […]
David Miscavige Models Dope New Scientology Look
“A black satin shirt, gold lame pants, and black leather boots is the dope new retro 1970’s look for Sea Org and Scientology publics alike,” chortled COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. “Buy […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 