In Top Gun II, Maverick is still a Captain after 25 years in the Navy! Why? The answer is that Scientology has made him quarrelsome, argumentative, and an antisocial personality. Maverick constantly […]
Obituary: Justin Bieber (1994-2019)
Justin Bieber, 25, of Upstate New York, Canada, succumbed to injuries he suffered in the octagon during a sanctioned fight with actor Tom Cruise, 89, of Clearwater, Florida. “It was the 1,000 […]
Tom Cruise: Remember Justin Bieber, You Wanted This!
Justin Bieber: Tom Cruise will hurt you and your friends. He is a very dangerous Super OT Octagon Fighter. I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you […]
Dr. Tom Cruise on Vaccinations
Scientology Thanksgiving with Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley
Colorful caftans are all the rage in Scientology this Thanksgiving thanks to our OTVIII Goodwill Ambassador Kirstie Alley. “Kirstie can rock a mumu like no one else,” said Tom Cruise as he […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige Comments on Tom Cruise’s New Movie Mission Impossible Fallout
“How does this glorified stuntman Tom Cruise get such monster stats for his stupid new movie?” asked David Miscavige. “Look at these stats! The opening weekend of Mission Impossible — Fallout is […]
Church of Scientology Reaches Out to Incels
Incels — involuntarily celibates — are a subclass of male losers who lurk on the dark web. Women avoid incels for many reasons, but mostly because incels are racist, angry, dull, unattractive, […]
Dr. Frank Wonderman: Why Counter-Intention on COB’s Lines Must Be Smashed!
Just as Trotskyite wreckers and diversionists were a threat to the worker’s revolution in Russia, so too are Psych wreckers and diversionists who traffick in reasonableness a threat to Scientology’s noble aim […]
#SPYGATE
Why Does Tom Cruise Keep Leaving Scientology and Coming Back?
Tom Cruise leaves Scientology every few years but then he always comes back. Why? Because the rumors are true: We in Scientology have all the dirt on Tom Cruise. We won’t publicly […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 