COB PTS 2 HBO
Captain Miscavige Orders the Nuclear Option Against HBO!
We in the Church of Scientology are under attack by the amassed global forces of planetary suppression. Captain David Miscavige is in his RTC War Room handling the dire threat posed by […]
The Egress Rundown
“The new Egress Rundown is the ultimate recovery of lost tech that puts you in charge of your eternity!” gushed Flag spokesman Ken Delusion.” “Fully ninety-dimensional and epic, the Egress Rundown is […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Finds the Lost Tech of Arbitration!
In an ecclesiastical miracle for the ages, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has just found the LOST TECH OF ARBITRATION. Written by the Founder in 1982, this lost tech proves that arbitration […]
A Googleplexion of New Scientologists!
Wog mathematician Dr. Stan Sharp had been hired to consult on numbers, specifically Church of Scientology “stat” numbers. COB, you see, needed a new set of PR numbers to publish. As COB […]
We in the Church of Scientology Are Very Bitter!
“We in the Church of Scientology are very bitter about everything, about how unfair life is, and about how things have never quite gone our way.” And with those words Scientology leader […]
Church of Scientology Hires North Korea to Handle Media and Internet Problems
“North Korea’s success in confronting and shattering a suppressive movie by Sony was extremely impressive,” declared Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “And that is why we in the Church of Scientology have hired […]
How to get a convinced Scientologist on the road to donating more to the IAS!
How to get a convinced Scientologist on the road to donating more to the IAS! Stable Datum: All members of the Church of Scientology have a button on self importance, particularly OT’s […]
Church of Scientology Offers Effective PR Solutions to Bill Cosby
“We are the experts on Public Relations,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion during his press conference at the Church’s Psychiatry: An Industry of Death museum in Hollywood. “Scientology’s approach to […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 