We in RTC are ordering all Scientologists to buy at least 50 copies of this special new Book & Cassette package in time for the holidays! These vital new materials are guaranteed […]
The Church of Scientology Asks: Can We Ever Be Friends?
No You May Not Have a Copy of Your SP Declare
We in RTC are often badgered by bitter defrocked apostates for actual paper copies of their goldenrod declares. This will never happen so don’t even ask. We in RTC know the cunning […]
Church of Scientology Leader Applauds Duck Dynasty’s Homphobia
“We in the Church of Scientology applaud the anti-gay attitudes of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Indeed,” Delusion noted, “1.1’s, or homosexuals, are not allowed in the […]
Church of Scientology Facing Critical Situations in South Africa
“The Church of Scientology faces critical situations in South Africa,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced today at a news conference. “As a result of these these very critical situations,” Delusion commented, “”COB […]
Holy Roman Catholic Church Copies Church of Scientology!
“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]
The Future of the Scientology Tent in Clearwater, Florida
COB RTC David Miscavige’s giant circus tent has served its epic, incredible, and planetary-changing destiny as the launching pad of GAT II. GAT II is now in highest ever affluence and is […]
Scientology Researchers Locate Lunatic Fringes of the Internet
Scientology researchers assigned to OSA Computer Unit Network Team S have located the lunatic fringes of the internet. Internal documents reveal that Google routes all digital traffic generated by unemployed bloggers, crackpots, […]
US Customs Officials Confuse New Scientology E-Meter for Easy Bake Oven
US Customs officials at the Port of Los Angeles last week ordered 250,000,000 new Scientology Mark VIII e-meters returned to China, this after mistaking the distinctive Scientology electropsychometer for the Hasbro Easy […]
Church of Scientology Announces Project Ouija Board!
COB RTC David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology had obtained exclusive global rights for the Ouija Board from Parker Brothers. “COB is convinced,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion,” that […]
Black Friday Scientology!
Following COB’s stunning surprise announcement that the new Ultra Mark VIII e-meter would be literally given away for the ridiculously low price of $4,900 on Black Friday, millions of Scientologists began lining […]
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