Today before a crowd of Scientology parishioners estimated at 12,000,000, Mr. David Miscavige was crowned Emperor of the Church of Scientology. Billions watched on television or online. The event was filmed and […]
“Google is not the ‘friendly search engine’ it pretends to be,” declared senior Scientology official Dr. Eldon Weiner. “After two years of investigation, we in the Church of Scientology have obtained incontrovertible […]
SECRET BRIEFING We in the Religious Technology Center (RTC) have recently been made aware of a very dangerous new group of wholetrack criminals whose very existence threatens both this planet and the […]
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today decried the psychotic SP film critics who are savaging Scientologist Will Smith’s new film After Earth. “The massively negative reviews are happening only because Will […]
The top exorcist in the Catholic Church — who himself looks like a hobbit, a demon, or a gnome — is trumpeting the fact that he has sent 160,000 demons back to […]
We in RTC know and see everything. We have had OSA monitoring yet another criminal SP blog on the hate-filled internet. This latest hater blog is called Scientology Celebrities & Human Rights. […]
We in RTC greet you in the name of David Miscavige, the beneficent and merciful and the fountainhead of all wisdom and goodness in this universe and all universes forever and ever […]
We in RTC wish to inform all OT’s that the $500,000 or more you may have donated in the past was all for negative case gain. Due to COB’s brilliance, we in […]
It has come to our attention in RTC that The Freewinds has wrinkled hull plates. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige sharply has stated that these unsightly wrinkled hull plates make the ship look […]
XXXV Mr. Spencer and Old Ned were talking next to the Beast. Suddenly there was a dull thud from inside the machine. Mr. Spencer looked at his watch. “2357 hours,” he noted […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 