“We in the Church of Scientology wish to point out that planets don’t clear themselves,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Clearing costs money as do Ideal Orgs, dissemination centers, hyperbaric implanting chambers, […]
New and Easier “Sec Checks Lite” Feature 50% Less Brutality!
“Captain David Miscavige is inviting you to drop by your nearest Ideal Org to experience the new Sec Check Lite!” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Designed by RTC to handle your crimes […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Finds the Lost Tech of Arbitration!
In an ecclesiastical miracle for the ages, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has just found the LOST TECH OF ARBITRATION. Written by the Founder in 1982, this lost tech proves that arbitration […]
This Is a Test of the SP Broadcasting System
There is nothing wrong with your internets. This is only a test of the SP Broadcasting System. Do not attempt to adjust the entheta. We are controlling transmission. If we wish […]
OT Success Story
OT SUCCESS STORY “One day I was accused of beating numerous members of an unincorporated religious order. “However, this couldn’t possibly be true because this religious order doesn’t legally exist and therefore […]
Church of Scientology — Free Personality Test!
North Korea Celebrates Humanitarian David Miscavige
North Korea declared today “Humanitarian David Miscavige Day.” An award ceremony was held at the Holiday Inn in Pyongyang. Goat meat, potatoes, powdered milk, rice, and healthful Russian vodka was served. Humanitarian […]
The Scientology E-Metermobile Is Coming to Your City!
“The Church of Scientology E-Metermobile is coming to your city soon!” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Captain Miscavige and OT Tom Cruise will kickoff the 200 city E-Metermobile Scientology Goodwill Ambassador tour […]
Church of Scientology Leader & Tom Cruise to Lead Super Bowl Halftime Festivities!
“Church of Scientology global ecclesiastical leader Fleet Admiral David Miscavige and celebrity Tom Cruise will lead the Super Bowl halftime festivities,” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These are the two most dedicated […]
The IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace
“COB RTC David Miscavige always wears the IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace,” exclaimed Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion, “and so do the rest of we in RTC!” “The IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 