Tag Archives: babies

Meet a Scientologist: Thorsten Von Overgaard Handling Overpopulation by Selling Bags Made from Human Babies!

“My bags are as smooth as a baby’s bottom because they are made from babies.”

Scientologists care about global problems such as pollution, drugs, and overpopulation. And that is why Scientologist Thorsten Von Overgaard is selling a line of designer bags made from human babies.

“We harvest the babies humanely,” said Thorsten Von Overgaard. “I want everyone to understand that. A quick injection. They feel no pain.”

“Overpopulation is a planetary danger and so this is a win-win,” Overgaard stated. “My company reduces excess population and my wealthy clientele is able to enjoy the smoothest luxury bags possible.”

“With prices starting at $40,000, the Von Overgaard bags are prized by Russian oligarchs, Washington DC lobbyists, Third World dictators, and others who have no moral qualms about owning the finest in luxury goods.”

“Available exclusively at the Von Overgaard Shop, we accept only discreet inquiries and cash in advance. And yes, just like the Church of Scientology, we offer no refunds.”

Is Your Baby Secretly Plotting to Strangle You While You Sleep? Scientology Can Help You Find Out!

BabyAuditing

“Don’t be taken in by their being cute or cooing. Babies are actually trillion year old thetans in new bodies,” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. “And some babies come here from other planets with evil purposes.”

“Your baby might have been sent here by the Psychs to secretly destroy you,” Delusion warned. “Don’t take chances! Get your baby arrived at Flag immediately for an Infant Sec Check. Priced at only $50,000, this sec check may save your life by helping you to discover if your baby is actually a Marcab out to strangle you when you sleep!”

“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige won’t go anywhere near these little BT-infested ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ type of evil thetans,” Delusion noted.