“Don’t be taken in by their being cute or cooing. Babies are actually trillion year old thetans in new bodies,” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. “And some babies come here from […]
Scientology Leader offers Pony Rides to Children
We in the Church of Scientology are very pro-family and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige loves children:
David Miscavige Disappears Into Marcabian Space Portal
As COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige mounted the podium today to give the keynote address at the 1st annual Conference of Cult Leaders in Crisis, he sensed something was not right. And […]
Delusion Reveals the WHY for Why Scientology Media Productions Is Not Broadcasting
“By actual survey, Scientology parishioners are asking the WHY for why Scientology Media Productions is not broadcasting,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “More than a few Scientologists have noted that Leah Remini has […]
Harvey Weinstein Turns to the Scientology Celebrity Centre for Help
“Disgraced Hollywood honcho Harvey Weinstein has turned to the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Centre for help,” reported Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Mr. Weinstein is currently staying in the penthouse at the Celebrity […]
Scientology Flag Land Base Adjusts Its Expectations
“In view of the massive statcrash of the past decade, Flag Land Base has adjusted its expectation for SOLO NOTs,” said Captain FLB Stayta Kleer. “500 on SOLO NOTs is attainable. We […]
Scientology OTX Test Run Goes Terribly Wrong
“Due to a catastrophic malfunction of the OTX Eye Injector at Flag Land Base, the pilot run of OTX went terribly wrong,” said Flag Medical Director Dr. Ken Delusion. “While we at […]
Confidential: David Miscavige Popularity Plunge! Crisis in Scientology!
WTF! According to Psych-infested Facebook, the COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige news page only has 190 followers! How can this be given the fact that the Church of Scientology has 12,000,000 members […]
Scientology Media Productions Inaugural Broadcast
RTC Secret Memo: Celebrities
Actress Elisabeth Moss Joins Scientology’s Elite “Fuck You” Club COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has determined that celebrities pose too many risks to Scientology. Therefore, COB decrees the following: 1. Thanks to […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 